My current workplace: Beautiful city, driven people and children caught in a currently transitioning society.
My workplace is a wonderful one, I treasure it to the fullest possible extent. The staff is amazing, the location is peaceful, the building is spacious and well planned, management is strong and creative and supportive. In a word, comfortable. My habitat.
This summer, I have spent my time in Pre-Kindergarten, grasping the truth of my decision to leave. Yes, leave. I am in a great child care workplace (hard to come by) and will take my chances at a new location.
My heart breaks tonight as each parent inquires when my very last day is. A few of my children are going on vacation next week, so I embrace them in a goodbye they are still grasping to understand this themselves.
My dilemma is this: do I feel the sorrow and weep gradually over the coming week or do I suck it up and just make the jump with a masked emotion? I hold strong to the conviction that children feed off our emotions, they know when we need a hug before we do. They react to my bad days, I know not to wear my heart of my sleeve. However, I know not to hide all of my emotions and thoughts, because they know a lie when they hear/see one.
To mask my emotions is to keep them from realizing the truth as much as it keeps me.
This, in short, is my largest thought this week.
Well, that and the fact that I have no idea what I'm walking into at my new location. There is a toss up as to which classroom they would like to place me, and therefore there is not a set work schedule they have to adhere to me. At this point in time, I'd be planning a lesson, next week prepping it. I don't have anything to plan or prep at this point and I'm feeling very useless as the teachers around me are prepping and planning for the upcoming school year. It makes for a lonely leaving.
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